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~ Clear Mind ~

Posted on: Apr 15, 2021
About 5 years ago
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Hey there

So I was inspired to make this skin because of an experience I’ve recently had.
I’m just writing this description for anyone who wants to read it, and hopefully some support for people who are experiencing this.

So, this happened when I was in 5th grade. So, 4th, 5th, and 6th grade were all doing this big Latin Bee. So I’d been preparing for it for months, and I was like okay, I’m pretty prepared. So first we did a mini bee, just my class, and the top 5 people advanced to the next round, the same for the other class, and then we would go up against each other, and the final one left was the winner. So, I made it into the top 5, so in 2 days we had the final round. Going into it, our teacher told us that there could potentially be 2 bees going on at once. So I’m thinking, oh yeah it’s just going to be our class, vs. the other class, the teachers, and the person asking the questions. Then the parents got invited. So of course, that added some pressure.
The day of the bee came, and as I walked in, all of the parents are there, all of the other grades, all of the teachers. My heart just stopped in my chest. I wasn’t prepared for this..

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Comments: 6

flxtter
Sort from oldest for this to make sense, and read Desc first!! :3
flxtter
Being sad isn’t productive, in fact, it is the opposite of productive.
It doesn’t bring you pleasure, it just makes you feel worse about yourself. You are beautiful, you are amazing, you may not know it, but you are loved. Sadness is not everlasting. You cannot continue to feel horrible about something that is out of your hands. <3
flxtter
I wished with my whole heart that I was invisible. However, surprisingly enough, I started to feel better, I realized, I was loved,
my friends cared enough to make a big deal of it. Jesus loves me. It doesn’t matter. It was over. I did my best, and maybe my best wasn’t good enough this time, but I was prepared. I knew that the next year, I’d be more prepared, and I felt better. The world stopped spinning, all of my emotions were back under control.

I just want to say to anyone who has, is, or could potentially experience this: no matter what, you are loved Jesus, and you are awesome. What ever you have gone through, whatever you are going through, remember: being sad doesn’t get you anywhere.
flxtter
All of my friends were helplessly trying to comfort me, but it was no use. I couldn’t control my emotions, anger at myself for answering incorrectly, for crying, at them for making a big deal about it, sadness that I would have to wait a whole year until I would get another chance. A few minutes later, the 6th grade bee was over, we walked out.
Suddenly it became a big commotion about me all over again. My friends got the teacher, all of the focus was on my uncontrollable emotions. My teacher talked to me, she tried to make me feel better, she asked me if I wanted to go into the restroom if I couldn’t control myself. We got back to the classroom, and I sat down in my seat again. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, I just continued to stay there helplessly, sadly, alone.
flxtter
The next round came pass, one more person got an incorrect answer. I was so scared, I could see all of the other kids whispering, and you might have guessed, the next round came around. I was asked a word, and I answered incorrectly.
The moment the person said, ‘Incorrect’, my heart just stopped in my chest. I could feel the burning gazes of all of the people there. I sat down in my chair. I started crying, all my class’s attention was on me.
flxtter
So we all sat down in our seats. The 4th graders went first, theirs went overtime, and there was 5 winners (I think). Our grade was up next. So, I had 4 friends that were also finalists. The first round went by. Three of them got an incorrect answer, and left. Pressure was piling on me, I had to win it now.